Now that we’re in our seventh year here at Shelves Blog Dot Com, I thought it would be a good time to reveal some top secret, insider-only trade secrets. It’s a bit like a magician spoiling the secrets of his fellow magicians, but hey, everyone knows that magic is fake and phony; that 99 percent of what they say is falsehood; that it’s all smoke and mirrors just to get that ticket money right out of your hand. With shelves it’s a little different: top organizers in the field know the secrets developed ages ago by the MASTER ORGANIZERS. These secrets were concealed by the elite, passed down through the generations via dark cabals, known only to those indoctrinated in the ways of professional organizing. These secrets have never been made available to the public for one reason, and one reason only: subjugation. So prepare to rise up, fellow readers, against the tyranny of the Martha Stewarts of the world. This information will set you free:

START AT THE TOP. Often faux-professionals will begin their shelf cleaning in any manner they see fit, wasting valuable time and energy. This is wrong. Start from the top, work your way down. If you are dusting, use clockwise circular motions, and keep a fresh Swiffer nearby.

SHELVES DO NOT NEED TO BE DUSTED EVERY DAY. Wednesdays and Sundays are fine.

TO REMOVE A SHELF LINER WITH MINIMAL FUSS. Use WD-40.

CONTROL A SHELF, AS YOU WOULD TRAIN AN ANIMAL. Do not give it an inch. Items that are used everyday usually end up staying on shelves, and clutter them from one end to the other. Don’t allow this.

EXCESSIVE SHELVES SOMETIMES CREATE A DANGEROUS VORTEX. What about having ONE shelf above a sink to keep a shaver and accessories on? These types of shelves are handy, easy to reach, off of the countertop and can double as décor if done correctly. Too many shelves in one place at one time will promote clutter, laziness, and disharmony. Junk flocks to excess shelves like the Bermuda Triangle.

DO NOT THINK OUT OF THE BOX. THERE IS NO BOX. Soon you will see, it is not you holding the duster, staring at the shelf; it is only yourself. The shelf is a reflection. Take the “h” out of “shelf”. See what it is you find then.

HAVE FUN. People always forget to let sunshine into their lives… SMILE. When you finish the cleaning, there is always the promise of more cleaning to come.

I’m going to add one more bonus secret for you, while we’re on the subject of seven. The Sona Seven Shelf Shelving Unit from Stacks and Stacks:

This is a beautiful, dynamic piece, perfect for any room. Could it be a bathroom shelf? Of course, it’s perfect for towels and bathroom accessories! Use it in the living room for books? Sure can! It would even be an attractive alternative to a bakers rack in your kitchen. Each shelf easily holds up to twenty pounds, and the attractive contemporary design adds a modern twist to any decor. Constructed of metal and plastic resin, The Sona Four Seven Unit is sure to please!

That really makes EIGHT SECRETS, not seven. Oh well, it’s okay, because EIGHT is GREAT! And so on.

The Sona Seven Shelf Shelving Unit. Highly Recommended.