Entries from March 2009 ↓

VOTE NO ON ANTI-GRAVITY! It will rob us of Shelves.

Well, I’m going to ask you to join the movement, sign the petition, and do whatever it takes stop what could be the worst measure Congress has ever voted on. Next week, they decide the fate of Measure S. 9035768 — THE MEASURE THAT WOULD MAKE LEGAL THE USE OF ANTI-GRAVITATIONAL DEVICES! To make cars fly. For jet-packs. To lift Costco pallets. To assist U-Haul customers. And to COMPLETELY DESTROY THE SHELVES MARKET. This measure would effectively END the need for shelves. Why would you need shelves when you could just FLOAT your books, or groceries, or laundry? Why use shelves when there is no gravity to allowing shelves the dignity to do what they do best? Why indeed. They would be as outdated as 8-Tracks, as pathetic as Pagers, as useless as TV Antennas. Ladies and gentlemen, we’re looking at the systematic destruction of shelves and the shelf-related industry. It would cast Shelves Blog into the horrible pit of quaint parachronisms, to die a death with the Yo Quiero Taco Dog, Break Dancing, and Dane Cook. So please, I’m implore you, get out there, do anything you can, ANYTHING, to stop them from voting yes on this abomination. We CAN’T be allowed to have access to anti-gravitational equipment, certainly not with the ease of buying an iPhone. This technology would spread like California wildfire, and before you know it, the only place you’d find shelves in in a Natural History Museum — BEHIND the glass. Well, there is still time, time to stop them from making perhaps the biggest blunder of modern times, and time to head over to Stacks and Stacks to purchase what could be the last shelf you’ll ever need. Like this awesome Pair of Display Wall Ledges in White.

You can brighten up any room in your home with the casual comfort of this Pair of Display Wall Ledges in White. Not only are they white, but they carry on the very tradition of classic shelves that this horrible new ANTI-GRAVITY measure will destroy!! They provide a tasteful and elegant way of displaying your favorite family photos and/or treasured memories. Incredible. Perfect for your favorite collectibles. Perfect for holding anything that follows the laws of gravity. With clean lines and solid design, you really can go wrong. Light, casual and comfortable, it fits right into any room in your home. And it’s made of wood, not some space-age polymer. Because the more you let these crazy future-loving freaks with their crazy ideas about weightlessness take over, the less you’re going to see wood products. How much wood was used by NASA in the last 30 years?

No kiddin.

And so on.

The Pair of Display Wall Ledges in White. Highest Possible Recommendation.

Out of Reach, Out of Luck. When a Glass Shelf Is Cruel.

Can't reach that purse on this glass shelf!

With all good things, there is dark side. Even the best of things has a dark side. For my money, there is no greater invention on this earth than a glass shelf. I love them, and can’t imagine getting through a day without them. But imagine being short, or wheelchair bound, or 6 years old — and you wanted something form the top shelf. Ooops. Now shelves aren’t so great. Now shelves have become the enemy. Now you wished the item you wanted down had never come in to contact with that high shelf, or at the very least, you had never been born, at least born small, or born to use a wheelchair, or too young to be tall.

Nothing in this world is worse than an itch you can never scratch, or being short. Or having no shelves. Or having shelves, but not being tall enough to reach them. Thank goodness science is drawing up plans to release a shelf with an elevator-type set-up, pitch-perfect for moving shelves up and down for the vertically challenged. It’s going to change things for the better, and it can’t come soon enough. What can really change your living room for the better, though, is this fine modern shelf from our pals at Stacks and Stacks!

A glass shelf should be within reach.

Don’t make the top shelf mistake with your glass shelf!

Wall-mounted glass shelves are an attractive storage solution, no matter the height. This sleek glass shelving unit features smooth, cylindrical platinum powder-coated brackets and a 5/16-in.-thick glass shelf, and it’s available in tempered or frosted glass. Useful for towels and toiletries in the bathroom, books and bibelots in the bedroom, and just about anything you’d like to display or store in other rooms. And if you know what a bibelot is, congrats. You’re one up one me. Includes level and hardware for easy mounting on all types of walls. Weight capacity is 10 lbs. on drywall or 20 lbs. on studs. Don’t go crazy, though: these shelves are sold individually. Order today and bring new life (and space) to your walls!

The Case For Books. I’m for them, if only because of Bookshelves.

Let’s be clear. Books are dumb. They really are a waste of time. Not just because the internet has rendered them useless and boring (you too, newspapers, ha-ha), but because on a whole, they are uninteresting, slow-moving, flat, dull, use-your-own-imagination time-killers. But, having said that, I defend books, for one reason and one reason only: Bookshelves. That’s right. Bookcases. Shelves for books. Glorious. Incredible. Wonderful. It is SOOOOO GREAT to be able to have shelves and books just lined up on them — organized, classified, categorized in order — by title, author, or whatever wacky system you may utilize. Bookshelves. Bookcases. Wonderful. So while I’m 110% for DVDs and CDs and BluRays, I’m about 32% for books. And we’re speaking here about books on shelves. Not books in general. Books in general I would give about 6%, and that’s just because I love those great joke books. I admit, I have more than a few of them. Call it a weakness for “Dead Baby” jokes, but alas, I do have books. Joke books with Dead Baby jokes. I would use my favorite Dead Baby joke here, the one about “How many dead babies does it take to fill a shelf?” — but it’s probably not appropriate. But what is very appropriate is to tell you about a really humdinger of a shelf, a BOOKshelf, that would be terrific for books, joke books, baby books — any kind of books you can imagine. Let me tell you about the Bookshelf – 2 Shelf from Stacks and Stacks. Prepare to be impressed.

It’s almost too good to be true: both strong steel exterior and shelf construction together with a solid fiberboard back, making these bookshelves the best value on the market today. Attractive, plastic snap-in radius corners make assembly easy and add to the overall strength of these bookcases. Shelves adjust at 1″ intervals during assembly. Generous 12″ deep shelves accommodate 3-ring binders and large publications. Shelf count includes fixed bottom of bookcase. You can choose printed steel in Medium Oak or baked enamel finishes in Black, Gray or Sand, if the spirit moves you. Comes in a 2, 3, 4, 5 or 6 shelf unit. Easy assembly with quick-lock fasteners, which make this a triumph for the short and the tall among us. Perhaps one day evolution will weed out the short, and the tall will no longer be tall as there will be nothing to compare them to. Until that day, we will have step-ladders. And whiners. And so on.

The Bookshelf – 2 Shelf. Recommended.

Worst Case Scenario! Small European Town Outlaws Shelves!

The news came over the radio this morning, and it was unbelievable, shocking, and terrible. The town of Sorotobol, just 63 miles outside of Rualkiztan border, has OUTLAWED SHELVES. Shelves are now illegal. Imagine that for one minute. The citizens have lost their right to have shelves in their homes, and the operators of businesses can no longer feature shelves — shelves are out, gone, illegal. Unreal. So sad, so very, very sad.

Here we are in 2009, the most powerful nation in the world having just elected Barack Obama, and yet, miles away in Sorotobol, the common people have just lost a basic human right. The right to have shelves — private shelves — to place or display whatever you need or want on them. Lord, so sad. It makes you really, truly appreciate the freedoms we have — the freedoms to not only to have shelves in our homes, but to purchase them at will, and to discuss them openly. On a blog. Shelves Blog.

So friends, I implore you not only to keep reading the blog, not only to share your god-given passion for shelves along with others, but to purchase as many shelves as possible — even if you have no urge to use them, even if they just pile up, unassembled, in your garage or backyard. Just buy them. Because you can. Because you should. Shelves exactly like this amazing 24 Inch Decorative Shelf Kit from Stacks and Stacks.

Shelves

Decorative Shelf

Wish you had more shelving area? You’re in luck with this innovative decorative shelf. Expand your available space while adding a classic look to your decor. Use in any room to display and organize with style. This versatile shelf can be installed upright or reversed! The Bracket features a ‘hidden’ mounting system that provides incredibly strong support for your shelving needs. No exposed mounting hardware gives a clean, professional look to your shelving installation.

Quality Craftsmanship for durability and style. Melamine construction. Will hold up to 100 lbs into studs! Installs in minutes, requiring no power tools. Brackets, shelf and all hardware included. Melamine construction. Available in Walnut and Maple, for fans of these very colors. And so on.

Cheeses Christ: A Kitchen Shelf For Your Cheese.

Many times in the kitchen, shelves need to be isolated according to what’s on them. Say, a shelf for your canned goods, a shelf for your spices, a shelf for cleaning periphery, a shelf for meat. Cheese is something that obviously you will have in abundance in your kitchen, so way not have a shelf devoted to cheese? All the rich people in the neighborhood do, why not you? The online cheese and wine vendor www.cheeseschrist.com knows that with a fine selection of cheeses, you need a fine shelf on which to keep them, display them, hold them and care for them until you serve them. Their store, though online, features many shelves. Shelves filled with wine and cheese. Virtual shelves. Virtual vendor shelves. And the shelves that reside in the warehouse form which the cheese and wines are distributed to cheese and wine fans the world over. If you are a fan of cheese, I would strongly recommend a cheese shelf for your kitchen, as strongly as some cheeses smell. Always separate your cheese, as cheese will tend to need not only solitary confinement, but also special attention. A kitchen, a bevy of cheese, a shelf. Perhaps like this one? This delightful, cheese-ready INTERMETRO 3 Tier Steel Storage Shelf in White MC1818W from Stacks and Stacks? You bet!

With its powerful 18 gauge steel and matte white finish, it’s ready-made to serve the cheese. Or display it. Or keep it save from woodland creatures. This sweet bad boy assembles in minutes without tools, and all the shelves can be adjusted within 1″ increments on the posts. Both casters and leveling feet are included so that you may choose between a mobile and a stationary unit. Not too shabby! Not at all! Look out ladies and gentlemen, I believe we have a winner. Shelf, meet cheese. Cheese, meet Shelves Blog Dot Com. And so on.

The INTERMETRO 3 Tier Steel Storage Shelf in White MC1818W. Recommended.

Drifting toward the perfect Shelving Solution.

If I could trade all the shelves in the world, all of them, and in exchange I could erase one thing right off the face of the earth, it would be driftwood. I hate driftwood. Driftwood is creepy to look at, no one knows where it comes from, and it killed my cousin Peter’s parents. Violently. I hate driftwood. Driftwood is wood that has been washed onto a shore or beach of a sea or river by the action of winds, tides, waves or man. It is a form of marine debris. To say the least. In some waterfront areas, driftwood is a major nuisance. However, the driftwood provides shelter and food for birds, fish and other aquatic species as it floats in the ocean. Gribbles, shipworms and bacteria decompose the wood and gradually turn it into nutrients that are reintroduced to the food web. Sometimes, the partially decomposed wood washes ashore, where it also shelters birds, plants, and other species. Driftwood can become the foundation for sand dunes. Or, quite hellishly, a 4-Shelf Etagere Book Case from Stacks and Stacks Dot Com.

According to Norse mythology, the first humans, Ask and Embla, were formed out of two pieces of driftwood, an ash and an elm, by the god Odin and his brothers, Ve and Vili. Well, you need not be the first humans to buy this solid wood bookshelf, but you won’t be the last either, because it will give your home a storage solution that’s like an original work of art! The cubbies that make up this wooden bookcase are perfectly sized to showcase decorative home accessories, store linens, or hold books, albeit ones made out of strange wood. Authentic metal hardware adorns the front of the book shelves, lending a rustic look with old-world charm. Charming, so charming. This beautiful etagere is available in 3-shelf and 4-shelf styles. Due to its “unique materials” and construction, they want you to know that slight design and color variations may occur with each book case. I want you to know that I hate driftwood. And so on.

The 4-Shelf Etagere Book Case. Cautiously Recommended.

Secret Discovery Lends Itself to Glass Corner Shelf Design

As man progresses through time and space, sometimes it takes a look back into the past to discover the most efficient designs. The glass corner shelf in this post utilizes such discoveries in an inspiring innovation. Now, as long as we’re discussing things that are special, things that are rare, I think we need to discuss the special and rare find that was found last year off the coast of the Paopicca Islands in Beruta. Here, under 22,000 feet of water, discoverers discovered a strange stone tablet, which at first glance looked to date back to the Platomopeptaimain Era.

Glass Corner Shelf

Not so fast.

Upon further study at Canceworth university in Motan, scientists and researchers found that this tablet was in fact not of this earth. The stone-like composition’s only distant cousin would be moon rock, and even then, distant cousins. No, this tablet was not of this earth, and it changed modern science and religion forever. As you no doubt know, the design of this strange stone tablet is instantly recognizable the world over, and now it has been immortalized in this outstanding cable-supported corner shelf made from glass.

This is the glass corner shelf I'm talkin' about!

This glass corner shelf has technology that is out of this world!

I think it’s safe to say they hit a home run. By taking that crazy space design and transferring it to a shelf, they’ve created magic. Clear glass corner shelves give run-of-the-mill humans many beautiful storage options, in any room they see fit. Perfect for storing toiletries in the bathroom, displaying collectibles in the living room, and providing a place for plants and other items throughout their homes! And unlike the rock tablet, the Cable Corner Shelf mounts with only 1 screw and holds up to 50 lbs!

Each glass shelf is 3/8″ thick with a polished edge, another innovation — making the shelf far more interesting than the tablet. It also features stainless steel cable and aluminum fittings, and includes mounting bracket. Take that, space rock. You can add style and function to your home with this beautiful glass corner shelf. What can you do with space tablet? Not much. And so on.

Delightful Floating Corner Shelves are Historically Correct.

Floating Corner Shelves will brighten your day like this yellow flower

Many times friends, family, and long time readers of this blog will ask me if the information I post here, and the information that I give them in private shelf consultation, is historically accurate. Of course it is. Sadly there is no degree to be achieved in the category of floating corner shelves knowledge, or indeed, I would have it hanging here, in my private basement den. But there isn’t. What I lack in diploma, I make up for in pure information. And yes, it is historically correct.

So believe me when I say that historically speaking, you will love this Delightful 12 x 12 Floating Corner Shelf from Stacks And Stacks! Not only is it stylish but it will honor the time-held tradition of making the most of your space!

This amazing shelf allows you to make the most of wasted corners! Ideal! Ideal for showcasing treasures or storing essentials, giving you the mighty power to enhance any room with a look that is classic and enduring! It definitely allows floating corner shelves to be a stylish and spacious addition to your decor, and you can feel free to use it throughout your home wherever a corner calls!

It is safe, holding up to 50 lbs, no studs needed. Afterward, animosity toward the prince united the leaders of Romania’s two political parties, the pro-German Conservatives, backed by the boyars and clergy, and the pro-French Liberals, who found support in the growing middle class and favored agrarian reform. All mounting hardware is included, so no trips to the hardware store are required.  And if you can tell me what that thing is with the flower in it, I’d be very grateful. And so on and so forth.

The Circus is Fun! The Circus is Great! The Circus has Shelves!

My fondest memories in life are of the circus! Oh, the wondrous time I spent crashing through the mud-pooled, rain-soaked fairgrounds, wandering aimlessly in and out of the giant candy-colored tent, watching the thrilling three-ring spectacle inside as well as the fun and enlightening activity outside. With clowns and all the nice program salespersons. Shelves are very nice, and shelves hold a very special place in my heart, but my goodness, is there anything more interesting or special than the circus? No, I think not. And it can’t just be that young children are interested in the circus – why else would adults work there? I think adults love the circus, too. I do, and I’m an adult. Here’s a secret, a secret you long-time readers may not believe, but is 100 percent true, and real: when I was younger, I actually thought about joining the circus! I was seriously thinking about leaving behind my love of shelves and organization, and becoming a circus clown! Or maybe an acrobat! Or maybe the Ringleader! Well, of course I didn’t, I decided to spend my time here on earth writing about shelves. Shelves Blog. Did I make the right choice? I don’t know.  Who knows? Often times people who know of my ancient aspiration wonder why I chose shelves and organization and blog over the circus. Well, it probably had a lot to do with the fact that a circus bear ate my parents. But I’ll never get over the wonderful childlike wonder that fills my senses when I come across neat shelves that remind me of the circus, not unlike this amazing Kids Bookcase – Circus Theme – MDF from the website Stacks and Stacks.

If your child is captivated by the circus like I am and was and still am, you’ll simply love the amazing Kids Bookcase – Circus Theme! If they love the clowns, and animals, and all the fun that the circus entails, there’s no better choice to make than to make the choice to purchase this amazing bookcase. You’ll be giving your little ringmaster a piece of furniture they will truly love when you purchase them this bookcase! This bookcase is pitch perfect for storing and organizing your child’s favorite chapter-books, picture-books, puzzle-books, maybe games, certainly CDs and so, so more! In these dark day, the bookcase’s brightly colored case gives your child a fun way to organize their things! MDF construction means it’s as tough as a lifetime carnie, and durable to the last. The best way to show your child the Greatest Show On Earth may in fact just be to purchase this wonderful Kids Bookcase – Circus Theme – MDF. It’s tops! And so on.

The Kids Bookcase – Circus Theme – MDF.  Completely Recommended.

A Medicine Shelf is a MUST In a Volatile Flu Season

Coughing and sneezing and hacking and wheezing. It’s awful. And this season has been a real doozy for people getting sick. It’s outrageous how vicious and determined this cold and flu bug must be. Influenza and the common cold. Vicious, evil, deadly killers. Or at least killers of time. If we could estimate the time used up by America’s workforce being sick, you’d be blown away. Well over 16,000,000,000 hours, which translates to 126 billion dollars in sick time spread over a 12 month period. Can you imagine? It’s enough to make you sick! And imagine all that space taken up on an inferior medicine shelf!

It’s not just the days spent out that are killing the country, it’s time spent in the office or out shopping, with the coughing and sneezing and hacking and wheezing. It spreads the deadly influenza and common cold like a plague, which it is. And I can tell you, no one likes listening to someone cough, sneeze, hack, or wheeze. I sure don’t like listening to it. It’s disgusting. And that’s why a medicine cabinet is a must for these people. A shelf on which to stack all those medications, elixirs, and nonsense that the pharmaceutical companies have assured sick people will “cure” them.

Medicine Shelf

A medicine shelf is perfect because it keeps everything the sick need to get well, right there where they need it.  You can mount the wall mounted shelf yourself with ease. And because each cabinet is made from medium density fiberboard you can rest assured knowing that your custom medicine cabinet will last.

But I don’t need this shelf, as I don’t subscribe to this phantom floating cold and flu virus theory. I believe strongly that these “sick” people are just suffering from excessive internal psychological pain. I believe all of this illness is psychosomatic. MENTAL and EMOTIONAL STRESS are the true cause. How else to explain why EVERYONE doesn’t get sick from these lethal cold and flu virus seasons, even in close quarters with the “sick”. No shelf enthusiasts, I’m here to tell you — the “sick” are only sick in the head.

Some doctors will tell you the truth, that when a weakened immune system is susceptible to normal, average, everyday viruses — that immune system was weakened by emotional stress and mental upset. Doctors like John Sarno, MD, who will tell you, right to your face, that your “sickness” is all psychological, metal, emotional. So get over it, America. In today’s turbulent economic climate, there is no time for either a workforce out sick, or emotional cry-babies. Because they are the same thing. And they’re wasting everyone’s time. So get Dr. Sarno’s book, and put it right on your bookshelf. Forget that medicine shelf.