Well, I’m going to ask you to join the movement, sign the petition, and do whatever it takes stop what could be the worst measure Congress has ever voted on. Next week, they decide the fate of Measure S. 9035768 — THE MEASURE THAT WOULD MAKE LEGAL THE USE OF ANTI-GRAVITATIONAL DEVICES! To make cars fly. For jet-packs. To lift Costco pallets. To assist U-Haul customers. And to COMPLETELY DESTROY THE SHELVES MARKET. This measure would effectively END the need for shelves. Why would you need shelves when you could just FLOAT your books, or groceries, or laundry? Why use shelves when there is no gravity to allowing shelves the dignity to do what they do best? Why indeed. They would be as outdated as 8-Tracks, as pathetic as Pagers, as useless as TV Antennas. Ladies and gentlemen, we’re looking at the systematic destruction of shelves and the shelf-related industry. It would cast Shelves Blog into the horrible pit of quaint parachronisms, to die a death with the Yo Quiero Taco Dog, Break Dancing, and Dane Cook. So please, I’m implore you, get out there, do anything you can, ANYTHING, to stop them from voting yes on this abomination. We CAN’T be allowed to have access to anti-gravitational equipment, certainly not with the ease of buying an iPhone. This technology would spread like California wildfire, and before you know it, the only place you’d find shelves in in a Natural History Museum — BEHIND the glass. Well, there is still time, time to stop them from making perhaps the biggest blunder of modern times, and time to head over to Stacks and Stacks to purchase what could be the last shelf you’ll ever need. Like this awesome Pair of Display Wall Ledges in White.

You can brighten up any room in your home with the casual comfort of this Pair of Display Wall Ledges in White. Not only are they white, but they carry on the very tradition of classic shelves that this horrible new ANTI-GRAVITY measure will destroy!! They provide a tasteful and elegant way of displaying your favorite family photos and/or treasured memories. Incredible. Perfect for your favorite collectibles. Perfect for holding anything that follows the laws of gravity. With clean lines and solid design, you really can go wrong. Light, casual and comfortable, it fits right into any room in your home. And it’s made of wood, not some space-age polymer. Because the more you let these crazy future-loving freaks with their crazy ideas about weightlessness take over, the less you’re going to see wood products. How much wood was used by NASA in the last 30 years?

No kiddin.

And so on.

The Pair of Display Wall Ledges in White. Highest Possible Recommendation.