If I could trade all the shelves in the world, all of them, and in exchange I could erase one thing right off the face of the earth, it would be driftwood. I hate driftwood. Driftwood is creepy to look at, no one knows where it comes from, and it killed my cousin Peter’s parents. Violently. I hate driftwood. Driftwood is wood that has been washed onto a shore or beach of a sea or river by the action of winds, tides, waves or man. It is a form of marine debris. To say the least. In some waterfront areas, driftwood is a major nuisance. However, the driftwood provides shelter and food for birds, fish and other aquatic species as it floats in the ocean. Gribbles, shipworms and bacteria decompose the wood and gradually turn it into nutrients that are reintroduced to the food web. Sometimes, the partially decomposed wood washes ashore, where it also shelters birds, plants, and other species. Driftwood can become the foundation for sand dunes. Or, quite hellishly, a 4-Shelf Etagere Book Case from Stacks and Stacks Dot Com.
According to Norse mythology, the first humans, Ask and Embla, were formed out of two pieces of driftwood, an ash and an elm, by the god Odin and his brothers, Ve and Vili. Well, you need not be the first humans to buy this solid wood bookshelf, but you won’t be the last either, because it will give your home a storage solution that’s like an original work of art! The cubbies that make up this wooden bookcase are perfectly sized to showcase decorative home accessories, store linens, or hold books, albeit ones made out of strange wood. Authentic metal hardware adorns the front of the book shelves, lending a rustic look with old-world charm. Charming, so charming. This beautiful etagere is available in 3-shelf and 4-shelf styles. Due to its “unique materials” and construction, they want you to know that slight design and color variations may occur with each book case. I want you to know that I hate driftwood. And so on.
The 4-Shelf Etagere Book Case. Cautiously Recommended.
2 comments ↓
I’m sorry to hear of your hatred of driftwood! Maybe my drifwood snake collection would warm you up to it’s possibilities? I hand paint long pieces of it to look like different kinds of snakes, with little leather tongues even! I suppose you could use it for all sorts of things; snakes, shelves, table bases, stools, microwave stands, large door stops, you name it. Maybe if you explored some of these a bit, you’d learn to embrace drifwood, as I have!
I take exception, ma’am, with the idea that driftwood should be kept in the home. Also, I would like to thank you for the nightmares. Snakes are a close second on my “most hated” list, right behind driftwood. Now you’ve married the two, in my mind. I’m not certain if psychotherapy or alcohol is the correct way to combat this horrible vision, a vision with a little leather tongue. Somehow, I must get this out of my mind. Perhaps by re-familiarizing myself with the entire selection of wall shelves at Stacks and Stacks.
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